Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River Gorge

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rara
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Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River Gorge

Post by rara » Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:42 am

Why hello there Red River Gorge people! Is the Red not gay enough for you? Do you yearn for a crag where you can climb with people who aren't the same gender they were born into? Do you know what the term "breeder" means?

Well, do I have an event for you!

Image

Homo Climbtastic is once again hosting its annual convention in the New River Gorge, July 26-29, 2012, for LGBTQ climbers and those who love them.

I can hear the whimpers of your discontent already. "But it's gonna be hot and humid and I'm gonna slip off my routes wah wah wah wah wah!" Well CRY ME A RIVER. Also, our convention is not for you anyway. Our climbers go climbing whether there's snow, rain, or untold quantities of goat poop (holla HCR!). I may skip out to catch the season finale of Nikita. BUT EVERY OTHER TIME.

We have all kinds of people. We got straight people, young people, people who call themselves old people, lipstick lesbians, chapstick lesbians, butch lesbians, straight women who get mistaken for lesbians cause they talk like butch lesbians, we got your "masc" gays, femme gays, in between gays, trash-talking gays, twinky gays, bear gays, "i refuse to be labeled but i'm obviously an emo-gay" gays, bi people, gender queer people, trans people, and people who don't believe in sexual orientation or gender.

But most importantly, we like the climbings.

So go over to http://www.homoclimbtastic.com and sign up. Pack up your tent, roll up your mattress, empty out your pee bottle, and drive a few hours east. It's a pretty drive, and even though it's hot, it ain't as hot as the Red. Also there's Summersville Lake and we bring floaties.

Activities may include:

-Partying at the Vandalian until everyone starts questioning Porter's sexuality
-Name dropping
-Strip-chubby-bunny
-Downgrading routes
-Prostituting ourselves for the LRC topo (you try to find Unshackled on your own!)

So once again, http://www.homoclimbtastic.com has all the details for registration. There's also a Facebook event page at http://www.facebook.com/events/273880166021303/ and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/groups/hc.climbers/ if you want to stalk us on FaceSpace.

Lastly, I have a very important request--in order to garner publicity for this event, it is VITALLY IMPORTANT that you continue bumping this thread to the top by TROLLING THE #$%@ OUT OF US. I'm looking at YOU, C2C! You are our only hope! Well, actually you're not, what with that guy with the papa smurf avatar, but you seem to be the best! Thus, to get that ball rolling, C2C is a jerkface and I'm already offended by all the things he's already just thought of saying about us.

Although maybe he's a homo and he's been in the club for years and just hasn't revealed himself to us for fear we'd disown him like we did to Brett Easton Ellis. (You try living life as an author when the book wasn't as good as the movie!)

See you there.

-Rara

dustonian
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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by dustonian » Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:03 am

Hahaha classic!!! Love it... best post in years.

Will there be any hot bi chicks there? Butterfly or Japanese-letter tramp stamps preferred.

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by nik » Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:29 am

awesome. good blog, too.

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by camhead » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:31 pm

I'm just going to bump this until c4c can weigh in. We ran into some Homoclimbtastic folks last year at Summersville; like 6 shit-talking gay dudes and one ultrastrong, ultraserious lesbian. The lesbian was very much not amused at the porno mags that were hidden on the laydown rest of B/C, and the gays wanted to know why there was no gay porn. Good times. You guys should start doing a pancake breakfast at events, like the Christian Climbers do.
faceholdonacrackclimbDAB!

dustonian
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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by dustonian » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:59 pm

hahaha is there really porn stashed on the ledge of BC?!??

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by camhead » Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:26 pm

dustonian wrote:hahaha is there really porn stashed on the ledge of BC?!??
There was a year ago. We need to get some porn to put on some of the classic lay down rests at the Red, too.
faceholdonacrackclimbDAB!

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by dustonian » Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:46 pm

This is a great idea!! We stashed porn mags and other stimulating material in the personal gear boxes of our fellow riggers and technicians on the TV crew I was working on during the NFL season--both gay and straight depending on the recipients' expected preferences. Few things are more hilarious than gnarly porn of either varietal...

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by One-Fall » Wed Mar 21, 2012 3:19 pm

Man, oh man. I think I'm a big fan of Rara.
Can't we all just get along?

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by pigsteak » Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:09 pm

they used "giblets" on the blog and I named a route that last year...maybe I am closet gay on the spectrum.
Positive vibes brah...positive vibes.

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by Shamis » Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:29 pm

Love the goats

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by Andrew » Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:52 pm

This is the gayest thread I have ever seen.

p.s. those goats are going to hell
p.p.s. Your letter to Santorum was great.
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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by clausti » Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:10 pm

rara wrote:Why hello there Red River Gorge people! Is the Red not gay enough for you? Do you yearn for a crag where you can climb with people who aren't the same gender they were born into? Do you know what the term "breeder" means?

Well, do I have an event for you!

Image

Homo Climbtastic is once again hosting its annual convention in the New River Gorge, July 26-29, 2012, for LGBTQ climbers and those who love them.

I can hear the whimpers of your discontent already. "But it's gonna be hot and humid and I'm gonna slip off my routes wah wah wah wah wah!" Well CRY ME A RIVER. Also, our convention is not for you anyway. Our climbers go climbing whether there's snow, rain, or untold quantities of goat poop (holla HCR!). I may skip out to catch the season finale of Nikita. BUT EVERY OTHER TIME.

We have all kinds of people. We got straight people, young people, people who call themselves old people, lipstick lesbians, chapstick lesbians, butch lesbians, straight women who get mistaken for lesbians cause they talk like butch lesbians, we got your "masc" gays, femme gays, in between gays, trash-talking gays, twinky gays, bear gays, "i refuse to be labeled but i'm obviously an emo-gay" gays, bi people, gender queer people, trans people, and people who don't believe in sexual orientation or gender.

But most importantly, we like the climbings.
whoo! that's me!

saw you guys last summer. you promised to bring hardcore gay porn for the b/c ledge. i might join you this year... teh camhead will be out west and y'all are hell of amusing.

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by dustonian » Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:34 pm

Andrew wrote:p.p.s. Your letter to Santorum was great.
Got a link for that? Let's see it. There's nothing better than bagging on Santorum... except maybe hardcore gay porn on rest ledges in the Red.

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by camhead » Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:24 am

dustonian wrote:
Andrew wrote:p.p.s. Your letter to Santorum was great.
Got a link for that? Let's see it. There's nothing better than bagging on Santorum... except maybe hardcore gay porn on rest ledges in the Red.
Read the blog that the original poster linked for the letter to Santorum. It's pretty funny. I just hope that we don't find any Santorum on crux holds at the Red or New.
faceholdonacrackclimbDAB!

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Re: Homo Climbtastic convention July 26-29, 2012 New River G

Post by climb2core » Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:55 am

I'm down with going, I just want to make sure I take my buddies ynp1 and Ted...

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